Oliver cracks me up, not always but usually. He’s an intense kid but super bright and witty. The other day we had relatives of Matt’s staying at his father’s apartment. The couple has a two year old daughter who doesn’t speak English, only French. So while Oliver was trying to talk to her and show her his cars he notices she won’t speak back. He comes up to me and says, “Momma, she can’t talk. She’s not talking to me.” I explain she doesn’t speak English but a four year old presumably only hears, “she doesn’t speak”. He then tell me something is wrong with her chin and he doesn’t like it. I look at him very perplexedly and ask what he means. “It’s funny looking. It looks like a bottom”. Yes, it’s true! The little girl has a bit of a butt-chin. I had to hide behind my book because I was laughing so hard. I can’t believe he thought that.
Yesterday we were in our community center cafe where they hire at risk kids from the local area to gain job training in the cafe. There were a group of boys with afro puffs and droopy pants working behind the counter. One boy had his whole backside sticking out (covered with boxers, of course) and his jeans were totally under his cheeks. Oliver says, “Momma, he needs to pull his pants off ‘cuz they are gonna fall off”. I giggled and mentioned that he should go tell the lad this. Oliver refused.
A few months ago we were at the grocery store and Oliver saw an overweight woman with VERY tight clothes on. I guess she looked like Mr. Incredible from the Pixar film The Incredibles (huge on the top with little legs and even smaller feet) because he pointed to her (this is where I was horrified with what was about to come out of his mouth) and he said, “Momma, that person has really, really big muscles!!!”. To which I said, “Well, sort of”.
Classic Oliver moments. I am thankful for moments to giggle in the midst of raising toddlers.