Day 16: a hard day

I was updating my post today because I read over some past entries that were pretty poorly written. I am a bit of a perfectionist and I can’t stand to read something where I used a run on sentence or the same modifier over and over again. As I was reading over things I was thankful for I was still a bit unsure what I would write about today.

I’m not going to lie…today was a bit rough to think about something that I’m thankful for. It’s ironic because the purpose of this project is to shine on the things that are great in life, my life! I wanted to do this for my own benefit mostly because I struggle with perspective. I’m a bit of a pessimist and don’t always see life as a grand adventure. People who are the grand adventurers are usually not close friends of mine either. They just remind me how lame my own shoddy perspective is… and they just bug me a bit.

I also believe it’s ok to be honest about how unexpected life can sometimes be and to really have a sense of humor about it. In my world it’s ok to laugh about the fact that kids can be amazing and annoying as all get out or that I’m watching my butt and thighs get older and more southern bound with each passing year. You really have to laugh about your body, aging and raising toddlers or you will develop hives and a serious drinking problem. So instead of seeing the glass half full I choose to sarcastically laugh my way through the  incidents that creep into my day.

Today was a day that Matt and I got a lot done on the house and there really was no reason to NOT find anything worthy of being thankful. But for some reason I just couldn’t think of anything. Maybe I was just so busy today that I really couldn’t think of anything. Maybe I just wanted something more profound to write about. I did have a lovely time over at Shane and Tiffany’s for brunch. They cooked the entire meal and that is something I’m not use to; going to a friends house where we are served the entire meal. We didn’t even have to make or bring anything. It was great! Super restful and refreshing. I am thankful for that.

I just wish I could have savored the moment more. I was too busy trying to keep my kids from bouncing off the walls, something Shane was for sure provoking! They love Shane because he plays hard with them. So there are quite a few things I feel thankful for today: the brunch, Claude watching our kids while we downsized our house, a clutter free home, ice cream and homemade hot fudge followed by Horton Hears a Who and finally, sleeping children. Lots of great stuff today.

My dilemma is that I’m still a bit wound up and unrested. This thing about thankfulness is tricky because you really have to focus and remind yourself that awesome things are happen to you during your day and you have to engage with the process. It brings that butterfly feeling inside your tummy when you really acknowledge what you have that is great and wonderful. It can actually relax you and drop a bit o’ dopamine in your cerebral cortex causing you to feel in love or at least in serious like with the world around you.

So I wouldn’t say that I failed today but I would say that I want to really engage more in being thankful rather than just saying, “yep, I sure am thankful for chocolate. Mmmmm… This chocolate sure is good and… chocolaty “. I’m on a mission to allow a thankful heart to bring joy and life to my soul; to deal with that cranky perspective and give it a good kick in the arase. We’ll see how tomorrow goes.

What are you thankful for?

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