Today I came across this article by Carey Wallace on making time to create art. In this article he’s talking about writing, which I feel a strong connection to but feel like I’m utterly dropping the ball since I just can’t seem to find/make time these days. I even commented on his article in that I was encouraged and discouraged in the same breath. In some ways I do believe it’s easier to make time for things when you are either single or sans little children. I do find there are a lot of mommy bloggers out there who write for fun (that just sounds so ‘cute’-they write for fun), maybe write because it’s a passion is a better way to phrase it. Then there are some who write to try to make money off their blogging. I understanding why the latter would carve out significant slots of time if they are trying to be home with kids and make some serious cash from their writing.
It’s the former, the ones who make time to write because it’s their passion, that just kills me. Maybe it’s the season I am in, life with three small children who have a lot of needs. I have a one year old who is just learning to walk for goodness sake! There are days where I feel like I’ve completely failed in making time to write, take photos or read and I really don’t understand how these women who stay home with kids do it. Maybe it will mellow once mine get just a titch older “and then (she says) I’ll find the time to make art” (end quotes). Or maybe I just need to bite down and carve out some serious time to create the things I want to create. I miss telling stories with my photos and getting out the stuff that’s in my head. Lord knows there is a ton in there these days. I feel I’ve been going through some major life transitions in the past six months and there is so much swirling around in there that wants to come out. Not that I need to write so people will read but there is something about the process that helps me to learn and to decompress a bit. It’s the creative process that we all need to churn in ourselves to feel we are spinning properly, like the cog that drives the wheel (thanks for the definition, Biker Husband).
Personally I was born to communicate in a variety of forms so when I spend most of my day answering what the difference is between a bunny and a rabbit (which, by the way, I really don’t know) I feel deflated and tired in the end, if that’s all I have done. If I haven’t engaged in something that makes me also feel alive as a unique human with a unique expression of life I feel like I lost a bit of the day. I’ve felt this way for months now. This is why, I think, a lot of stay at home moms struggle with depression, addictions, and horrible loneliness.
This excerpt, which hopeful isn’t breaking some sort of copywrite, is incredibly profound to me and seems to strip away a lot of my excuses for not making time to create, whatever it is that I need to create:
“This is what undergirds my discipline in my best moments: the dazzling beauty and variety of the things God wants to speak into this world, the honour of being able to repeat some of them in my own voice, and the shortness of my life relative to the size of the task. It requires discipline to stay tuned to these truths in the crush and noise of each day, but when the division between creative and spiritual disciplines is removed, the reward becomes not just another page written, or another lonely hour stared down, but a meeting with God himself, who restores us even as He leads us on.”
– Carey Wallace