I took the kids to my mom’s for a few hours today in order to de-stress and gain my sanity back. This past week has been hard with the kids, for some reason. I met up with Matt for his break but, because I was at the mall, I decided to get some shopping done for Christmas. I know, not the best way to spend some much-needed free time without the kids.
I stopped at a store which I am embarrassed to say the name but I ….ok it was Forever 21! I can’t believe how enormous that store is; two floors of clothes all ‘organized’ by color. I almost had a heart attack inside while looking for a dress for my friend’s wedding. To top it off I hadn’t bothered to use deodorant today (this is a step in the grooming process that honestly gets skipped quite often) and I felt myself beginning to sweat more and more the longer I was in there. I worried for the next unlucky girl who would try on my salmon cocktail dress. In my defense it wasn’t that pungent but I did notice.
Then I noticed the line and thought, “Not too bad. I’ll just go grab a scarf for my friend who recently had a birthday”. When I came back the line was stretching all the way to Cleveland and, again, I started to sweat. Did I mention that I had coffee an hour prior with Matt so I was kickin the foul, left over coffee breath as well? I was like your high school math teacher who has trench mouth and insists in helping you work out your math problem right up in your face as you breathe out of the side of your mouth. Yep, that was me today asking the nineteen year old girl with the skinny jeans and Ugg boots where to find salmon colors throughout the store. Maybe it was the fact that I was surround by tight, unflawed youth that made me so self-conscious about what my breath and body smelled like. See, I remember being that young and thinking a lot of stuff was gross and that old women’s butts looked funny. Today I was the old woman with the funny looking butt and funky underarms in the kid’s store.
To top it off I waited so long in the blasted line while the mom and daughter duo in front talked to the cashier about each and every item that they were purchasing. Then the girl went back up stairs for another shirt while we all got to stand and wait for her. WHAT THE !@#$??? Now I’m really feeling the fact that it’s like 100 degrees in the store and I’m still sweating and the girls behind me in line are now really quiet. Hopefully not because it smelled like someone just cut up fresh onion in the store. Damn! When did I get old? When did I get so uncool? Was I ever cool? Probably not.
Well, at least it’s that time of year again. Enjoy the malls, the shopping, the overpriced lattes and underpriced clothes all made in a large Asian country! Just remember to rock the deodorant and take some Altoids with you.